Anniversary

The two month anniversary of losing Barbaro has passed, but not the feelings of sadness and emptiness without him "here". I miss checking in on him each day. I miss feeling optomistic because he seemed to be better. What keeps swirling around me is "what if?" What ifs are tyrants in our lives...

I've been thinking why I feel so connected to him. I didn't know of him until the Derby and for some reason, he just grabbed hold of me and will not let go, nor do I want him to. I don't want him to because he has changed me and my life. He awakened parts of my life that had started to be overlooked. He opened me to start writing again, to try painting. To express myself. And this expression now is going into finding a cure for laminitis and fighting to end the slaughter. This expression has made me kinder to others because I've realized it tough for all of us sometimes and we all need each other to lean on.

For whatever reason, I was meant to be tied to him, as are many others, and to keep "running" with him, as he so loved to do. And I will. I'll keep running, living and giving. This is what he has given me, this is why I am so connected.